Monday, July 14, 2008


Okay so he hasn’t called. You worked up the courage to show him how you feel, you went against everything you normally do. Wore a shorter skirt to look sexy, tied your hair in that comely way and used the eyeliner that makes your eyes brighter. Maybe you finally told him exactly how you feel about him, or even better asked him how he felt about you. The answer you were looking for is still locked away somewhere?
Romantic rejection is someone having the courtesy to tell you not to waste your time.
You don’t need to analyse their feelings anymore, you don’t need to puzzle about why fear is affecting him so negatively, while your fear made you passionate enough to express yourself. People are complicated, but if you keep things simple for yourself, situations don’t have to be. The person you want may not be the person you need right now. Some guys are a challenge and some women definitely love the chase, if your chasing him and he’s not tearing after you back. That means everything you want to believe is a fiction. Keep it (NMP) for the (SSS). Not my problem for my spirit my soul and my self.
Could he have commitment issues (NOT MY PROBLEM)
Did his ex have the ex affect? (NOT MY PROBLEM)
Did his fingers get chewed off by an enormous shark at the beach so he cant call or text. (NMP)
It’s not your problem. It’s his. Until he tells you what happened and you believe him, then it can be your problem. He’s enabling you rather than disabling you to be there for him and to show your support.

The giant lie people tell themselves about rejection is that their not enough. Life is tough, it’s hard to find a good man in times like these. If you think like this, you will always settle for the emotional scraps and cleverly diluted crap someone is willing to give you. You’ll eat the bait, be caught on the hook and be left dangling in the air over again. If someone likes you and they’ve got drama in their life they’ll tell you because they don’t wan’t you to just up and leave. They wan’t you to understand them, stay with them and give them a chance.
Sadly there are people out there that will convince you to stay put because either their needy and are tired of being left, scared to be left, or realised there’s a whole world out there your getting ready to see. There’s also ridiculously insecure people that don’t want you, but their confidence and ego is built on all the attention you give them. Action trumps mouth any day. Don’t just listen to what they tell you, look closely at what their showing you. If your confused, ask them. If your confused and you can’t ask them, that means there’s a lack of communication. Rejection comes in many guises.

Celebrate the fact that for now, you know exactly where you stand. This gives you the chance to create…Your own choice. What do I want from a relationship, what am I going to settle for, what will I absolutely not tolerate?
Have an image change. Dress yourself up like a celebrity, and strut down your streets like their your catwalk.
Go out with friends talk to them about what’s going on in their life try and give them as much advice as possible, tell them a bit about what’s going on with you but don’t dwell on it. You might bump into a guy you like or someone that might be interested in you. Give them the chance of at least a first date if theirs a vague attraction. You might have met a new friend or someone to socialise with.
If the topic of him is too sensitive for you, when someone asks what happened. Just say I made a choice. If you start with he did this or he did that, you make yourself the victim.
Empower yourself because no matter what rabbit someone pulls out of a hat, they can never take your power away unless you unwittingly hand it to them.
As much as you spend time networking and socialising, it’s important to spend time with yourself. Reading, writing, treating yourself to facials, mini feasts, or explanations in your journal.
It is tempting to go around his friends or family bitching about him, making comments and finding out what he’s been up to. Don’t, it shows you care too much.
It’s also easy to ring him obsessively asking why, and pushing him to tell you what went wrong, why doesn’t he feel the same way. If you plan to do it, don’t do it in an aggressive tone. Work out what you want out of the conversation. If anything you want him to be honest. Don’t pressure him otherwise he’ll say what you want to hear and everything will go back to square one, or even worse he’ll know how vulnerable you are and take advantage.
Don’t keep conveniently passing through his area, a man is a predator therefore he knows when he’s being hunted.
Don’t try and make him jealous. People make the mistake of thinking if someone is jealous it means they really like you. Jealousy is the outgrowth of possession, it doesn’t mean they like you so much, it means their arrogant enough to think your theirs. Don’t let jealousy be the main reason he finally decided to make his move.
There’s a law of rotation.It means they always come back, but wether you want them or not is entirely up to you. Have you noticed that people who were negative to you, suddenly pop out of the blue wanting to befriend you or get close to you. They suddenly want to hang out with you, take you out for lunch introduce you to their friends and family. Why is that? Because your energy relaxed, you stopped ‘NEEDING’ them to, and kept your distance. With the space you created a want in them. Ninety percent of the time people like to do what they want and take for granted what they need.
Finally, be attractive. That doesn’t mean be media manufactured pretty or pile on the makeup. Be positively centred and focus on building up a storage of vibrant energy, be a magnet that attracts good things and good things will come to you.

Otatade Okojie

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